This Weekend

Recently, I have been struggling with the pain that still lingers after forgiveness. The trauma has been forgiven meaning I am no longer bound however, I am still forever changed & still feel the pain of things past.  I've been struggling with having forgiven but not having been forgiven. I have been struggling with being humble when others are so freely selfish. I have been struggling with watching friends make choices that are less than desirable and not being able to do anything about it. Thankfully, I serve a God who listens & knows me better than anyone.

This Sunday, I attended a church where most of my family attends. Worship spoke directly to me. I had spent much of my weekend being anxious, confused, & defeated. I was discouraged. As I stood in the darkened sanctuary & worship was led by a team of men and women who were using their God-given talents, two of which I am blessed to be related to, tears filled my eyes. The lyrics spoke the promises from Christ that I needed to hear. I was surrounded by song, I was delivered from my enemies, God's love was bigger than the hearts of stone in this world, my strength is weak but HE is strong, I owe it all to Him, in Him, I am made COMPLETE.

I sat down and reached for my Bible & notebook to take notes as the pastor began his sermon. I expected that the worship was all I needed & God had done his encouraging for the service. How wrong I was. The sermon text was on James 1. I thought to myself, ah God I hear you, you aren't done.
"Consider it all great joy, my brothers, whenever you experience various trials, knowing that the trusting of your faith produces endurance. but endurance must do its complete work, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking nothing."

This past weekend, this past fall, really, the past three years have been heavy with one particular trial. I have read this verse a lot over the course of the past three years. The sermon's focus was on treasuring the difficulty in our lives. I had been seeking to find the positive in the up and downs of the trial & to hold fast to the promise that God was using it for good in my life. However, I was feeling discouraged & I truly believe that God was using this church service to speak to me.

The difficulty in life is to be cherished. If you try to cherish your trial, affliction, difficulty in your own strength, you will fail. We in our selfish, weak flesh cannot embrace the pain, hurt, unfairness, trauma, & abuse & say "Yes, I want more of this!!". How sweet it is to know that God is able. With God I have been able to forgive & pray daily for someone who hates me, with God I have been able to forgive myself for my past mistakes, with God, I seek to consider others better than myself regardless of their actions. with God, I have been convicted of my prideful nature.

Tonight as I sat in my youth room & listened to my youth pastor teach, he referenced a verse. Ephesians 4:32 says " And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ."  Yet another confirmation of God's work in my life. How can I not be encouraged to forgive when God's Word so plainly commands me too?!

This may not be the most eloquent, put together blog post. Nor the most organized. I felt the Lord speak to me & wanted to put it down in words. I doubt anyone will ever read this but if you happen to, I hope you are encouraged by Christ's power in my weakness.

"Relateable", "Same", "Actually Me"

Hey y'all. I'm back :) Here's some scatterbrained thoughts of mine ;)

You may be wondering where in the world I thought up the title of this blog post. I have never said those three words more than I have this past weekend when I attended at  retreat  for TCKs (Third Culture Kids). I had initially been dreading it because I only knew one teen and I didn't even know him that well. My thinking was why would I want to go to a weekend retreat with people I don't know when I could just stay home, hang out with the people who I've been investing in and go to my volleyball tournament. I was done. I didn't want to make the effort to invest in people and have the chance that we wouldn't click and it would be awkward.

Well, I see now how selfish my thinking really was. I walked in the building and was immediately made welcome by my "m" aunt and uncle. They directed me over toward a group of three teenagers who I had never see before. As soon as I walked up to them I felt welcome and comfortable, it was a little awkward at first but we quickly got over that. As I asked questions about where they had lived overseas I found that I was born in one of the countries one had served in and had visited another of the countries. As more kids started to join us throughout the night we all included them intermediately. We clicked.

After thinking about and getting to know such amazing people I know why we clicked. We clicked because of our experiences and because we are all a part of the Body of Christ. We had all lived overseas, we had all moved back to the States somewhat suddenly, we spoke different languages, had grown up in multiple countries and so much else, These were the things we already shared before we got to know one another.

I had forgotten how amazing and refreshing it was to be with people who really understand you. There is just something about being with teens who immediately relate with you and share a lot of the same experiences and hardships. I felt at home with these new friends. They reminded me of home and all of my friends in EA who also related to me. While being around other TCKs made me miss home I couldn't be sad for very long. The joy of being with such beautiful people who loved me, and I them, was phenomenal.

This past weekend was a blessing, refreshing and brought me so much joy. This retreat made me think about heaven. 'Cause if something as beautiful and diverse as this weekend could happen on Earth then how much better is heaven going to be! <3


-JO

Okay God, I got the message.

Here a short post about God's faithfulness in my life.

So, let me start at the beginning. A few months ago, I heard that the children and youth, at my church, were doing a play in December. So, I started going to practices because I wanted to get to know people a little bit better and because, what the heck, being in a play could be fun. So, I had told the play director that I didn't want a solo cause I didn't sing. Besides singing in the shower, of course. So, after a few weeks of practice I was given 2 lines. One of which was a paragraph long. I was more than content with playing a very minor role in the play.

Well, in early-mid October one of the girls who was going to play one of the main characters said that she couldn't be in the play any more. She had a job and she needed to focus on her school. So, the play director came to me and asked if I would like to take the girls part. I was like sure. After all, I had committed to being in the play. So, I was fine with being given more lines. That I could handle. Well, one of the practices it was mentioned that Anna, the part I was playing, was going to be singing a solo. Granted, I wasn't going to be singing a whole song alone, I would be singing it with Simeon, the close friend of my character, Anna. Still, I flipped out. I was scared. So, good ole procrastination and my dumb brain kicked in and I was like " wait, the play is like forever from now. It's fine. Don't worry about it. So, basically I stuffed the idea that I was going to sing in front of people way down and forgot about it, sort of.

Well, that was a very bad move. Every time it was mentioned, that I'd be singing, this flood of emotions would cover me. Fear, nerves, anger, denial, you get the gist. So, I started to come to terms with the fact that I was singing in front of people. I had a few ( like 4) break downs but, with a lot of prayer I came to grips with it. That was a great decision.

2 weeks before the play my youth pastor preached about how God keeps his promises. He talked about Moses and the Burning Bush.

Exodus 3:11-14

"But Moses said to God, “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?”

12 And God said, “I will be with you. And this will be the sign to you that it is I who have sent you: When you have brought the people out of Egypt, you[b] will worship God on this mountain.”

13 Moses said to God, “Suppose I go to the Israelites and say to them, ‘The God of your fathers has sent me to you,’ and they ask me, ‘What is his name?’ Then what shall I tell them?”

14 God said to Moses, “I am who I am.[c] This is what you are to say to the Israelites: ‘I am has sent me to you.’”

As my youth pastor talked I was immediately filled with peace about the singing situation. In that moment, I was content with what God wanted me to do. I was still slightly nervous but not nearly as much as I had been. I went home and was fine for a few days. Then doubt and Satan broke me again because I began depending on my own strength. I was again overwhelmed by feelings of fear and resistance. I sought the Lord and he calmed me, again. He spoke to me another way that week, and again the week before the play. I was constantly reminded that He wanted me to sing for His glory and that I shouldn't be worried about messing up.

I had let the craziness of life, my fear, and depending on myself overwhelm me. I learned the hard way that all I needed to do was to lean on Him. I would've been able to avid some much stress and fear if I had just depended on HIS strength and realized how weak and insignificant my own strength was. So, next time I will, hopefully, look back on this experience and remember to give it to Him cause He is my strength.

Long story, short. I had committed to being in the play, I had said I didn't want a solo. I was given a solo because the person originally singing couldn't be in the play. I was nervous and scared about singing. He spoke to me OVER and OVER again, through other people. I gave my feelings and reservations to HIM. He calmed me, He delivered me through my fear, He helped me preform well.

HE is able, HE is my deliverer, HE is my strength, HE is my protector. All I have to do is give him my heart, every day, every minute.I hope you found this encouraging. I just wanted to share God's faithfulness in my life with whoever reads this.

Friends are......

Hey, y'all!

It's been a while, I know. I'm back to share my heart and random thoughts with y'all.

Friends. That's what I'm going to be talking about this evening. In the past few months, I have come to realize how important friends are. True friends that is.

In July I joined my home school association's volleyball team. Now understand, I joined this team never having played or watched volleyball before. So, nerdy me walked on to a team of girls who, for the most part, had been playing volleyball for a couple of years. There were other girls who had never played volleyball before but they had played other sports. Basketball, softball, etc.... So, just imagine a tall, lanky, ignorant, clueless girl walking into a gym of girls who had played this beautiful sport for years. Yeah, it's not looking too good for the tall, lanky one. :) So, as the season went on, I was slowly taught the sport of volleyball by my amazing coach and with a little help from my teammates.

Guys, I cannot begin to explain to you the way that this team of twelve girls blessed me. They were so encouraging from day one. They were patient with me when Coach would have to explain something to me yet again, which would hold up the line. They encouraged me, whether by giving me a high five when I came to the back of the line or shouting encouraging words from the bench. They helped me know where I was supposed to be on the court when we had five seconds before the ball was served over. They taught me how to encourage my fellow teammates when they got down. They were a great example, for the most part, of how a team should work.

Now, I won't talk about the Varsity players. They were amazing. They high-fived me after drills, even the ones I had sucked at. They cheered me on from the bench, shouting encouraging, sometimes hard to hear, words. They gave me tips after Coach had already explained it to me for about the fifth time. ;) I was talking about my middle hitter friends just then. ;)

I say all of that to say, friends, are precious people. Friends are crucial. Friends are people who invite you to go on their church trips, even when they hardly know you. Friends are people who let you crash at their house, during the week, while your parents are gone. Friends are people who you can laugh with about the stupidest things. Friends are people who you can share your hurts with. Friends are people you can hurt alongside. Friends are people who share your love of cats and dogs. Friends are people who have a die-hard passion for music. Friends are people who give the best hugs. Friends are people who'll wear heels with you even when you're 6'0 and taller. Friends are people who tell you you're more than a white crayon. Friends are people who offer to do your makeup and hair and make you look "hawt as heck".  Most importantly, friends are people who you can talk about God with.

I just want to say thank you to my amazing volleyball team. For showing me love, encouragement, good attitude on the court, and patience. Thank you for showing me how to be tough and suck it up. have loved playing with y'all. I cant wait to see how these friendships will grow in the future. I can't wait for next season! I love y'all so much!

GO EAGLES! <3

Leaving Home to Come "Home"

Hey y'all!

Today I am going to be talking about something really important to me.

So as many of you might know, 5 months ago, I left Uganda and moved to the States. I was born in East Africa and grew up there, until we moved. I had friends, relationships, memories, and experiences in East Africa. I had new friends and old friends. When I left at the end of December I left all of that. Sure, I'll always have the memories, and experiences and I will always have the relationships and friendships, but it will never be the same.

 When we first got back to the States I thought that it would be months, maybe years to feel comfortable at church or anywhere. These past few weeks I have finally started to feel completely comfortable at church. I have stared talking to more than 2 people. I am starting to become a part of the youth group.

On another note, my Dad has been looking for a job. He had a phone interview last week, at a job 2 hours from here, where I've "planted" the past 5 months. The interview went well, we haven't heard if the are considering him further so, we wait.

So, in all the change and craziness the last few months have held I have chosen to trust and abide. Though it has been difficult at times I've done it, with His help of course. So, if any of you reading this and going through transition or a rough time, trust God! He has a plan for your life and for your pain and joy! Trust Him and He will carry you through it! 

Thanks for listening to my ideas! 
Jo

They're Here!

Yippee!

Our plywood crates, filled with all of our earthly belongings, arrived yesterday! Yes! When we left Uganda we filled 2.5 wooden crates(6' by 6') with sentimental items from home to be shipped back to the States. We were told it would take 6 or more months for the crates to arrive on US soil. Nevertheless, here we are, 5 months later, with the crates!

The packing company arrived at 10 am or so, yesterday morning. The four packers/movers hopped out of the ginormous 18 wheeler, and got to work prying the front of the crates off and unloading the contents in our church's gym.

As I watched the men wheel in the boxes that contained the household items I had grown up with, and not seen for 6 months, emotions raged! Emotions like joy that our "stuff" was here, in one piece, not at the bottom of the Indian Ocean, sadness as our crates arriving means that we really have moved to America and left Uganda, and anticipation as we, in the coming months, open the boxes that are packed with treasures, dear to our hearts.

Of course, I'm inside the house, sitting in a comfy chair, surrounded by Air Conditioning. While my Dad, brother, and friend we crated with, move boxes in the 86 degree weather!

So, I am happy.

Have a great week!

Jo

Mani's, Pedi's and Vera Bradley

Hey y'all,

It's been a little while and I figured I'd better post another blog.

Let's start with a re-cap of my weekend and week. On Saturday, my Mom and I went with my adult cousins to get mani's and pedi's,which was fun. Then afterward my parents and I went and hung out with family and I ran to Vera Bradley and got a Triple Zip Hipster in Katalina Blue for 60% off the original price. It was pretty grand!

Sunday rolled around and I went to church and Sunday school. In "big church" I watched my friends preform a song in front of 400, give or take, people. Yah, it was hysterical. #toetap

Then my parents ditched me and..... not really they just went out of town for a conference. So I'm chilling with my grandparents, 2 great aunts, and a ocusin. Yah, it's pretty rad.

Well, I'd best be going my Math tutor is almost to the house. Oh yippee for Math!

Have a great week!

Jo